Believe it or not, this is one of the many reasons I have heard for couples who are contemplating divorce. The bigger problem here is usually that one spouse feels overworked and undervalued, which is a significant problem. Before contemplating divorce, I would urge each party to participate in counseling to improve communication. It is possible that one party does not recognize that he/she is not helping. Another possibility is that one party believes her or his participation in other tasks in regards to the family is a fair share.
6. We hardly know each other
So often I hear couples tell me that their spouse really doesn't know a thing about them. I've been present in mediation sessions where one spouse asks the other, "What is my favorite color?" If the spouse is unable to answer correctly, it reassures the other spouse that he/she is making the correct decision. But petty things like this should not persuade you into getting a divorce. It is OK not to know your spouse's favorite color, food, movies, or other preferences. Preferences can be learned with effort. If there is still effort being offered, it may give you good reason to re-evaluate your need for a divorce.
5. We parent the children differently
Parenting differences often causes strife within a marriage. Each party was raised with a certain expectation of what parenting is supposed to look like. Each individual believes some methods of parenting to be more effective than others. Often, frustrations arise when one parent fails to discipline a child as the other deems appropriate, or when one parent encourages behavior the other parent finds distasteful. However, divorce can cause significant consequences in the life of a child. These consequences often outweigh the damage caused by parenting preferences. Communication and synergy in parenting is a learned skill. Work with your spouse to improve upon this and set up a common game-plan.
4. My spouse is not good with money
Money and financial situations are one of the main causes for deteriorating marital relationships. Sometimes, marriages can get to the point where each spouse is criticizing and commenting on every single item or service the other spouse purchases. This causes resentment and fear. Before divorcing, discuss with your spouse ways to spend sensibly. Pay your fair share of expenses, encourage and maintain openness in dealing with finances, and plan your financial security according to your means.
3. Work is taking over my spouse's life
For some, work life is where they feel most successful and much of their daily self worth derives from their relationships and accomplishments at the work place. This is not a negative thing. However, if one spouse is spending too much time at work, or concentrating on work too much and home-life has become an afterthought, this can cause serious issues in a marriage. Spouses should encourage each other to have healthy work/life balance and to work a reasonable amount. Attempt to make friends at work who also demonstrate strong relationships at home.
2. He doesn't get along with my family
There may be many reasons why you believe your spouse just does not like your family. Some of these reasons may tie back to his relationships with his family and issues he experienced in childhood. Your spouse may not come from an intact family, or may not be comfortable with how close your family is. Talk to your spouse about these issues. Explain to your spouse why your family reacts in certain ways, and encourage your spouse to spend holidays with your family. Try doing the same with his family. Above all, speak highly of each other to family members. You may be able to avoid divorce by affecting change with the way you speak of one another.
1. We don't do anything together anymore
If you and your spouse have any shared interests together, that is a tremendous value. Do you feel comfortable in your surroundings with your spouse? Are you able to eat what you want to eat, look how you want to look without worrying? Are you able to express yourself through art, music, relaxation, and companionship freely? If there is any sliver of truth to the above, it is worth looking into working on the relationship. At one time, there was something you both enjoyed. Perhaps you could make a list of all the things you have now or in the past liked doing together, and speak to your spouse about doing those activities again.
NOTE: Every individual deserves happiness and safety in their marriage and all relationships. There are many reasons and combinations of reasons spouse's get divorced. This is not meant to be construed as legal advice, nor is it a list in order to tell you how you should treat your individual circumstances. Each circumstance is different. If you are a victim of spousal abuse or your physical safety is an issue, please reach out now. Do not wait. Where abuse is present, fear of recourse by your spouse is not a reason to stay in a marriage.