YEARS ago, a group of physicists and mathematicians held a conference to answer the question: “What is the probability that there is other intelligent life in our universe?” The group concluded that there must be intelligent life somewhere based upon the sheer volume of known orbs or planetary matter in the universe.
Think, for a moment, that there are one trillion galaxies in the known universe and some 50 billion planets to exist in our one galaxy alone. With numbers of that size, the math says that the probability of intelligent life out there somewhere is positively high. There must be life in our universe.
But as one world-renowed physicist at the meeting of the highest minds cleverly quipped, “Well, in that case, where are they all?”
SOME OF MY CLIENTS quietly wonder the same thing. Not about intelligent life, but intelligent spouses. Many people come to me and ask, “Is there anyone out there who isn't getting divorced or doesn’t have the issues I’m having?”
There are clients whose grandparents got divorced, then their parents got divorced, and now they are in the middle of the same tough decision their close ancestors have faced before them.
They know, and so do you, that Mathematics dictates that based upon the sheer number of marriages, there must be those that are happily married out there somewhere.
Those same clients might echo the thoughts of the wise physicist: “Well, in that case, where are they all?”
THAT BRINGS US BACK TO AN IMPORTANT HISTORY LESSON. At about the same time this group of mathematicians and physicists were asking their question about the existence of intelligent life and their whereabouts, one sociologist believed that society may be in the middle of discovering the very answer.
You see, the world was learning a valuable lesson in the midst of the First World War. The world had reached a point, technologically and with the development of incredibly advanced warfare, that for the first time ever in the history of the World, society had the ability to destroy itself.
Over the years, more World Wars raged and the arms race was on. The Cold War brought a very real fear that the World could just choose to implement a military force that could not only destroy their enemy, but could destroy humanity all together. The invention of the nuclear bomb made this fate a very real possibility.
But, in a somewhat miraculous turn of events, humanity made a collective choice not to destroy itself.
So, at least one person’s theory to existence in the universe is this: that every intelligent society eventually reaches a point where society becomes technologically advanced enough to have the capacity to self-destruct.
Perhaps mathematically speaking, its very unlikely for societies to overcome this moment of self destruction, and that’s why we cant find other intelligent life and other intelligent life cannot find us. Societies don’t reach the ability to use their technology to explore the universe often enough because they destroy themselves too often. Simply put, most societies self-destruct before reaching a viable point of space exploration complex enough to reach other intelligent life-forms.
BUT THE HUMAN RACE ON PLANET EARTH CHOSE NOT TO SELF-DESTRUCT. So far.
Is it possible for my clients to choose not to divorce? Is it possible for two spouses to look at a path, see where that path eventually leads, and decide as a couple that they don’t want to go down that path?
Is it possible for two people to stop the arms race, to put together a sort of arms reduction conference as a partnership, and make a decision that there will be no self-destruction?
I believe every marriage comes to the point where the relationship has advanced enough that the couple has a choice whether to entertain a certain dangerous path. They must make a choice whether to go down that path, or to leave well enough alone. It is a difficult choice. In application, the odds may be against you.
But if you can just put a hold on the arms race that is destroying your marriage, you may get through all of this and your marriage may reach a new level you never thought possible.